28th
Naperville’s Finest
Brains, beauty, and a badge… In each episode of Female Forces, viewers ride shotgun with the female officers from the Naperville, Illinois Police Department as they fight a full gamut of big city crime in the suburbs of Chicago.
It was only a matter of time before a reality TV show was set in my hometown. Two years ago, a Naperville girl finished ninth on American Idol. Not long after, another Naperville girl won — and, tragically, broke — the heart of Poison’s Bret Michaels on VH1. But now we’re all grown up: no more time for Naperville girls; bring on the Naperville women! That’s right, we’ve achieved minor cable television fame (the Biography Channel! I….didn’t even know we got that).
The coolest parts are definitely the hyperkinetic transition sequences when they show off bits of Naperville and I experience the strange thrill of seeing my adolescent memories stylized on TV. (St. Peter and Paul? I’ve been to mass there! Potter’s Place? Their fried ice cream is the best! Naperville-Plainfield Road? That’s a really boring street with nothing of note on it right by the house I grew up in! Awesome!)
But the best parts — not to mention the funniest — are the main storylines, when they try to make Naperville seem like a super exciting place with lots of crazy things going on. The “full gamut of big city crime in the suburbs of Chicago”? I never realized that teens stealing beer from random garages was such a blight on the urban landscape.
In the episode I half-watched, the officers pulled over a juvie who was throwing cheese at passing cars and turned out to have a warrant out for his arrest, then decided to have a botox party. (They’re not called Naperville’s finest for nothing…….heh heh.)
Oh, the thrills I’ve left behind. Thank you, reality TV, for reminding me how much jump cuts and tight in-car angles spice things up. I’ll have to incorporate those into my life a bit more the next time I visit Naperville.
